Lost Moments
by Blue741776
Summary: Moments are fleeting. As an apprentice with the strictness mentor in ThunderClan, Specklepaw cannot help but wish escape back to the simplicity of kithood. But remembering the past may disillusion him to the present. (One-shot)


**One-shot. Takes place in the lake territories. ThunderClan. Please enjoy~**

 **...**

 **Specklepaw- Brown tabby tom with a white belly and blue eyes**

 **Mentor: Finchclaw- gray she-cat with brown flecks and cold, brown eyes**

 **Flowpaw- Silver she-cat with amber eyes**

 **Kits:**

 **Cloudkit- fluffy gray tom with amber eyes**

 **Mousekit- Small dark brown tortoiseshell she-kit, green eyes**

 **Tawnykit- Orange and brown she-kit with brown eyes**

 **Frogkit- Black tom with a raspy voice and green eyes**

 **Lost Moments**

The long, lush grass parted as a small black creature hopped through it—waxen wings reflecting light and small, curved beak glinting. Innocent and carefree, the small raven moved closer and closer to the damper ground in a hollow away from the quick safety of the trees in search of easily picked worms.

Specklepaw's tail buzzed and he fought the desire to lash it, worried about losing this perfect chance. Narrowing his blue eyes, he spied on the bird from behind a gnarled and splintered tree branch that lay broken and rotten on the forest floor. He crouched no more than four tail-lengths from his chosen prey.

His belly rumbled painfully, he hadn't had anything to eat since the night before and he had spent all morning sparring with other apprentices. He just hoped he could catch this quick so that he could get back to the stone-hollow in time for a quick bite before taking care of the elders.

He snapped his attention back to hunting as the raven found a worm, furiously tugging it out of the ground. Wriggling his rump, he prepared to pounce while his ticket back home was busy with its own victim.

Checking his proximity and surroundings one final time he leaped, clearing the branch and landing just short of the raven. Luckily the raven had been too slow to abandon its food and Specklepaw managed to catch it as it tried to fly away, ending its life quickly and muttering a quick thanks to StarClan.

 _Good, now if I'm lucky Finchclaw isn't back yet and I can even catch a bit of sleep_. He yawned, dropping his prey for a moment as he remembered his weariness. He'd taken the first shift of night watch last night and his mentor had him up before dawn again. The rotten flea-pelt.

The forest was quiet as he plodded through it on the well-worn trail. It was the time after sun-high and most creatures had eaten and were enjoying the warm, moist air. Specklepaw tried to spy the sky through the thick foliage but it was useless. The gray light was enough to tell him it was still cloudy, at least that would keep the intense heat at bay. But he hoped it would rain so that he had an excuse to stay inside his den and sleep.

 _Though, knowing my mentor, she would make me train in hail and thunder._ Grumbling to himself about how he got stuck with the toughest mentor possible, he slowed as he neared the entrance to the hollow.

"Hey, Specklepaw!" he wanted to turn away as his denmate, Flowpaw, trotted up to him, purring as she grinned at him. She had beaten him in training earlier that morning, so she had gotten to go back to camp and rest while he hunted.

"Finchclaw wanted me to tell you that as soon as you drop off your prey to join her for patrol on the WindClan border," his silver denmate told him gleefully.

Specklepaw scowled, was his mentor trying to kill him? "Fine," he growled, "After I get something to eat."

"You can't eat until your duties are finished," Flowpaw reminded him as they walked through the entrance, pushing their way past the gorse into the camp. "And you only caught two pieces of prey, that's not enough for all the elders," she added.

Specklepaw flattened his ears, "Last I checked I wasn't the only apprentice. What about you? And Goosepaw?" he added, looking around for his brother.

"Goosepaw was on the dawn patrol and then he had training this morning. His mentor gave him the rest of the day off," Flowpaw told him as they stopped outside the elders' den.

"What about you?" he grumbled, lowering his eyes to his chest. _Gosh, I look like I haven't washed in days, my white belly is almost as brown as the rest of me._

"I took care of them yesterday all by myself. Come on, you only need one or two more pieces for the three of them. You can do it on your way back from patrol and then you'll just have to change the moss and groom their fur and it'll all be done," Flowpaw leaned in and took the prey from his mouth.

Specklepaw startled, her scent was surprisingly sweet. _Tch, she's probably been rolling in posies again._ "Thanks," he managed to choke out as she nodded, "Go ahead, I'll give the elders your prey," she mewed, turning into the honeysuckle den.

Specklepaw looked up at the sky again, it was looking optimistically dark but even with the humidity, the smell of rain was faint. Shaking himself, he started for the entrance again, trying to ignore the ache in his paws and shoulders.

"Specklepaw, wait up!"

He stopped short, sighing as he faced the posse of kits that had surrounded him. It was Mousekit, Tawnykit, and Frogkit led by their brother Cloudkit. The four of them were almost six moons old and were eager to get any advice and tips from the apprentices, even if it meant badgering them.

Especially from Specklepaw and Goosepaw, since at one time they'd all been in the nursery together. Specklepaw felt a pinch of sorrow as he remembered those days, back when he had no responsibilities and could do whatever he wanted so long as he stayed inside the camp.

It was funny, he had been so eager to be an apprentice. But now all he wanted to do was be a kit again in the nursery with his brother and mother. No worries other than the weather, hoping it would be sunny so he could play all day. And now he wished it was rainy, so he could sleep.

"Not now, I have to go on patrol," he mewed, almost complaining.

"Where are you patrolling?" Mousekit asked, her big green eyes sparkling with excitement.

"The WindClan border," Specklepaw answered, kicking himself for forgetting that he couldn't waste time. If he wasn't quick, Finchclaw would make him do dusk patrol too.

"Are you going to beat up those rabbit-chasers for good?" Cloudkit asked, bouncing from paw to paw.

"No," Specklepaw growled; that was the last thing he wanted.

"You're so lucky," Cloudkit sighed as Specklepaw started for the entrance again.

"I would say the same to you," he murmured, a pang of sorrow for all the freedom he'd lost.

"What was that?" Frogkit asked, leaning his head so that his ears tilted against his head.

"Nothing, I've got to go," Specklepaw sped off, _for StarClan's sake, let Finchclaw not be mad!_

…

"You're late."

Specklepaw's hope died as he approached the patrol. Finchclaw was staring at him with her cold brown eyes, a deep frown on her face.

Specklepaw dipped his head apologetically, trying to stifle his panting from running through the forest. It would have been easier if he had known where on the WindClan border they would be. But if he said anything, Finchclaw would tell him that he needed to work on his tracking skills.

He fell in behind his mentor submissively, keeping his eyes on her twitching tail-tip as the patrol stalked in silence along the border. He ignored the sympathetic glances of the other patrol members; everyone in the Clan knew that Finchclaw was hard on her apprentices. But they also knew that all the apprentices Finchclaw had ever taught were some of the best warriors in the Clan.

He stole a glance up at the back of his mentor's head. The gray fur was speckled with brown, making it look like she was perpetually dirty. But asides from that her fur was neat and her muscles were smooth and powerful, rippling under her taunt pelt. No cat could ever say she was harder on her apprentices than herself.

She was a mystery, every kit both hoped and dreaded having her as a mentor. She had no close friends, but no real enemies. She was perfect at everything she did but had turned down the deputy position twice. She'd never had kits but was always requesting apprentices. Respected and feared in equal respect, she was ThunderClan's own living legend.

"Specklepaw, what do you smell?" Finchclaw turned her head, catching him staring at her.

Startled and caught slacking, Specklepaw tried to draw in all the scents before Finchclaw could catch on to his unpreparedness.

Not that there was any hope of that. "I smell the WindClan border and the scent of a rabbit that passed by not too long ago," he mewed meekly, trying to get away with that.

"Nothing else?" Finchclaw's frown deepened and Specklepaw caught the sympathetic glance of one of the patrol members. He knew it, he had missed something.

Drawing in the scents more deeply and concentrating harder he caught what he had missed before. Laying his ears flat against his head in shame he sent a sidelong glance at a telltale trail of broken twigs. "A badger went through here last night," he mumbled, feeling his face heat up as Finchclaw scrutinized him.

"Yes, the dawn patrol reported it as well. If you had been paying attention, your brother mentioned it at training this morning. I suggest you try to be more aware of your surroundings if you ever hope to be a warrior," Finchclaw turned her face forward and led the patrol forward again.

Specklepaw stared at his trembling paws, if there was anything worse than being given more work as punishment, it was Finchclaw's cold stare of disappointment. It inspired such an intense fear of failure that the blame had nowhere else to go but sit uncomfortably in your stomach.

Specklepaw trailed behind the patrol, close enough that Finchclaw wouldn't snap at him, but far enough away to revel in his own misery. If only Finchclaw didn't have that sixth sense that told her when her apprentice wasn't paying attention. She never asked questions when he was ready, only when he wasn't.

Trying to refocus his attention on his surroundings, he noted that the WindClan patrol must have passed by not long before them. He hoped they wouldn't run into them. Relations were okay right now, but he didn't think that any two Clans who shared a border could be entirely friendly. A few heated words would be exchanged and there would be a standoff as each side waited for who would leave first.

"I don't want that at all," he muttered to himself, hurrying as he saw he was falling further behind.

Luckily, they never saw hide nor hair of any WindClan cats and they were heading back to camp in good time. Specklepaw made sure to make a show out of testing the air and looking alert, even though he was half-asleep on his paws. His one desire was to not have any more work for today, he just wanted to flop down in his nest and sleep.

The other cats were chatting together about the gathering from a few nights ago, but he didn't join in like he usually would—even though he had never been to a gathering and was always eager to eat up any news. Instead he watched Finchclaw intently, waiting to see if she would give him any more orders.

They entered the camp and she still hadn't turned toward him. As the rest of the patrol dispersed, helping themselves to the plump fresh-kill pile, Specklepaw followed his mentor as she reported to the deputy, maintaining a respectful distance as they finished their conversation.

They finished their conversation and Specklepaw waited in anxious dread as Finchclaw turned around, eyes alighting on him. She padded over to him and he met her, staring up at her cold brown eyes.

"You've had a long day," she commented, looking over his torn and rumpled pelt. He hoped he looked pathetic enough to spark some kind of sympathy. But it seemed Finchclaw had none to offer.

"Take care of the elders for now. You'll take the second night watch shift, make sure you're more alert then you were on patrol. Also, we'll hunt with Flowpaw and her mentor tomorrow when the dawn patrol returns," the gray she-cat dismissed him, and he felt dismay fill him. He was going to die at this rate, he had already lost so much weight. He looked almost a moon younger than his sleek brother, and Goosepaw was at least a mouse length shorter than him.

Screwing his eyes tight, he stifled his complaints. Finchclaw hated nothing more than a whiny apprentice. Maybe he could talk to his leader about switching mentors.

Plodding toward the elder's den he drew up short. _Shoot! I forgot to catch more prey on the way back!_ He glanced longingly at the full fresh-kill pile. Usually, it was okay for an apprentice to feed the elders from that, but Finchclaw had made it clear on multiple occasions that he must either feed the elders with his own prey or go hungry. _At this point, I'm almost too tired to be hungry._

But he knew that if he had night-watch again and hunting tomorrow, it would be torturing to go so long without food. "Psst, Specklepaw!" he jumped at a hiss from the elders' den, his eyes widening as Flowpaw stuck her silver head out, amber eyes sparkling.

Specklepaw hurried over to her, "What now?" he growled as she stepped out of the shadowy den.

"Did you forget to hunt on your way back?" Flowpaw asked, looking pointedly at his empty mouth.

Specklepaw laid his ears back defensively, "I was a bit distracted."

"I thought you would be. So I went and hunted them some food," Flowpaw puffed out her chest.

"Why'd you go and do that," Specklepaw grumbled, shifting his paws as his pride and gratitude battled.

"I think the words you are looking for are 'thank you,'" Flowpaw snapped back, brushing past him, "I took care of the moss too, so all you have to do is clean their fur."

Specklepaw watched her leave, wondering if he should apologize or if she would just brush him off. _Relationships are so complicated_ , that was another thing he missed, simple relationships. All the kits had been playmates, pure and simple. No grumbles had ever been uttered in the nursery.

Sighing, Specklepaw went over to the medicine-cat den and waited for the medicine-cat to give him some mouse bile, which he took with a disgusted expression on his face as he tried to ignore the repugnant scent.

"Okay, who wants to go first," he muttered, ducking into the elders' den. He paused, the four kits were gathered together and listening to a tale from Whitewhisper, the elderly she-cat who had once been light gray, but was now white from age.

"And the great warrior of LionClan stood tall over the defeated bear, mane brighter than the sun. The Savior of his Clan, he said, "… oh, hello Specklepaw," the white she-cat rasped, turning her milky blue eyes toward him.

Specklepaw nodded respectively, Whitewhisper was his father's mother, so they were related by blood. Though he looked more like his mother, so no cat could really tell. "Go on with your story, I'll start with the others," he mewed, starting to search through the coarse and rumpled pelts of the other two elders.

Usually, he was content to work when there was a story, but today he felt only irritation. He had heard all the stories about the legendary Clans over and over again. His paws ached, and the smell of mouse bile made his empty stomach twist. The sight of the kits cuddled closely around Whitewhisper's warm, fluffy fur made him envious.

"Hey, Specklepaw!" He twitched his ear at Cloudkit's insistent whisper.

"What? I'm working," he grumbled.

"Can I help?" the younger tom asked, amber eyes bright with eagerness.

"Don't be silly, you're a kit," Specklepaw started working on Whitewhisper, not meeting the kit's gaze, afraid it would betray his envy.

"I wish I could be an apprentice now, can you show me some moves later?" Cloudkit asked, bouncing behind him and pouncing on his tail.

"Your mother's calling you," Specklepaw deflected the question as he heard their mother calling from the nursery. "It must be dusk by now," he mewed, finishing up and smoothing Whitewhisper's fur back into place.

"It's a promise then! You'll show me some awesome moves as soon as you can!" Cloudkit mewed, running off with his littermates.

Specklepaw shook his head, he had a feeling that it would be a long time before he could. "Those kits are so full of energy," Whitewhisper purred, curling down into her nest. "They'll be pawfulls as apprentices."

"Apprenticeship might curb some of that enthusiasm though," Specklepaw muttered.

"You used to be like that, too. But it seems like you're older than I am now, you'd make a better elder than apprentice, you're always grumbling," Whitewhisper teased, opening one milky eye to watch him gather the mouse bile together.

He didn't say respond, saying goodnight to the elders before leaving. Once he'd deposited the mouse-bile outside of camp, he returned and finally got a piece of prey from the pile. He had been wrong, as soon as the scent of food reached him all his hunger pain came rushing back.

Since it was after dusk, all the best pieces had already been taken. But he didn't care, choosing a slightly less squashed mouse and shrew and turning to look for his brother. His heart dropped as he saw Goosepaw with the kits, showing them the move they'd all learned that morning.

Goosepaw was so full of energy, but that was because he'd spent all afternoon asleep while Specklepaw worked. The kits laughed as Frogkit fell over and the black tom kit retaliated by knocking over Cloudkit, and then all four kits ganged up on Goosepaw, struggling to take him down.

Specklepaw's paws itched, for a moment he forgot his exhaustion and hunger and he wanted to go play with them too. "Mudpool has the shift before you, so he'll wake you at moon-high. Make sure you're ready by then," Finchclaw's instructions snapped him back to his personal pains and he nodded, turning away and plodding toward the apprentice den.

Flowpaw was sitting outside, grooming her silver fur, but as he approached she turned and vanished into the den. His shoulders drooped even further. He gave one last regretful look toward the nursery and for a moment he met Cloudkit's gaze.

For once the kit didn't call out to him and Specklepaw broke the gaze, turning his focus toward the apprentice den. He would have loved to play with his brother and the kits. But right now all he could do was sleep and dwell on lost moments. Maybe eventually it would all change, but not until after his night shift was over.

 **...**

 **Just an idea I had one day that I felt I had to write.**

 **I might make a sequel one-shot. Probably not though.**

 **If you're an old reader and remember my Legacy stories and the promised spin-off stories, I still want to write them but I'm afraid I can't promise anything.**

 **Gotta admit I'd love to see some reviewers after so long! *hint hint*wink wink***


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